From an empty cup

I have this thing for coffee mugs. I love them. Well, I love coffee, so it only makes sense that I love the vessel it’s served in. But I’ve always been strangely comforted by coffee mugs and their tendency to offer you a warm hug on sleepy weekend mornings, a to-go option during your morning commute or a few marshmallow topped sips of hot chocolate.

I have a few of my favorites: the one pictured above, which I got umpteen years ago in a flower bouquet that is now famous, a Christmas mug handed down from my Mom (that I may have salvaged from the giveaway pile), and a rustic Smoky Mountain ceramic mug given to us for our wedding by Jason’s godmother. I rotate these in and out, often disappointed if the one I wanted is dirty, and glad to see it when it’s clean and ready to be used.

I was inspired yesterday by a blog post I read about filling up your cup, metaphorically.

It struck me that we as people can’t connect, support or love those around us if we ourselves aren’t filled with own energy and strength. Especially as a working mom, I often feel torn in a thousand directions, rarely sitting down for “self care” or endeavors that fill up my own cup. And then as we get weary, we get downtrodden and less hopeful, less faithful, less optimistic about our surroundings and future, which permeates through our family, thus creating a vicious cycle.

I’ve found myself in that cycle lately. A little bit blue. A little bit unsure of why things are the way they are, struggling with understanding, struggling with faith. Feeling like my cup was pretty empty. Having a pity party, basically. But for things that I’m holding pretty close to my heart.

And then I thought of this verse:

“Lord, You are my portion and my cup of blessing; You hold my future.” – Psalm 16:5

My cup may not feel full, but what’s refreshing is that I don’t have to feel full, I can trust that God will be full for me, and carry me through. I don’t know my future, but God does, and that should be enough for me.

So I will find time to rest in that, drink from my favorite coffee mug and have faith that He holds my future.

Being a Grown Up

Sometimes, it’s hard being an adult.

But what I’m finding even harder, is transitioning all parts of my life into adulthood. I’ve got the whole job thing, responsibility thing, taking care of another human thing down (well, pretty much), but what I don’t have is the ability to transition the seemingly mundane categories of my life into full-fledged adulthood.

Getting up early is an example. I know that getting up earlier can have lasting impacts on your brain function and efficiency. I know that I need quiet time with God to pray, reflect and enjoy moments of peace before the rush of the day. But, I still cling to that alarm clock like it’s going out of style, rolling myself out of bed dangerously close to the “you’re going to be SO late” precipice and dancing dangerously with what’s appropriate hair styles going on day 3 of no shower.

Another example, my makeup bag is woefully comprised of the same products I used in high school. The same grocery store and Clinique counter products that I love are still in rotation. Now, nothing is wrong with those items, I will continue to buy them, but I REALLY need to update and upgrade my beauty and makeup routine. Less Lip Smacker, more Sephora. I’ve started watching some makeup tutorials on YouTube, like this , and I’m starting to get more into it.

Also, one of the hardest transitions into adulthood/mamahood is carving out time for yourself. You go from a self-focused world before marriage, before kids where it only matters what you do. But now I’m responsible for other humans and it is sometimes exhausting. Self care, taking me time, whatever you want to call it, it’s important. So I’m looking to set aside time each week to do something I like to do: read, take an online sewing class, take a bath, etc.

Whatever it may be that helps this whole transition into an adult easier, I’ll take it, try and let you know how it goes!

…she…he…she…

…she said goodbye to her old faithful this week. This car has been with me since I could legally be a driver and it served me well. Farewell old friend 🙂

 

…he…sometimes, I’m not really sure what he’s doing…

 

 

…she has started dancing every now and then and I caught a few fun seconds. It’s no dancing Beyonce baby, but it’s a start!

 

This Weekend Rocked

 

Not pictured: watching “Her” (AMAZING movie), a new batch of homemade baby food, hamburgers, freshly cut grass, a swept and mopped floor, 4 loads of laundry and lots of snuggles and love. Basically, this weekend rocked.

Latest Digs

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One Word

There has been a trend through the blogosphere lately that suggests you pick one word to describe your upcoming year. Each New Years, bloggers will choose the word that describes how they want to be in the new year, how they want to be known or other aspirations they want to strive for. Popular words have been: brave, courageous, active, etc.

And as I looked back at probably the most significant year of my life, and then looked ahead to 2014, I knew this would be a perfect exercise for me.

2013 was killer. I mean, hands down, one of the craziest, most wonderful, most emotional and hardest years of my life. Let’s recap, shall we?

• January: Announced we were pregnant! Jason moved branches
• February: Began my thesis research
• March: Bought a house and moved + drove to Tampa for presentation
• April: Defended thesis and found out our little gummy bear was a girl
• May: Celebrated three years of marriage and graduated with my master’s
• June: Started a new job + turned 28
• July: Had a car accident/fender bender and spent night in hospital
• August: Fell while 9 months pregnant + welcomed our beautiful Audrey
• September: blur (10-year high school reunion fell in here somewhere)
• October: blur
• November: half blur/Back to work
• December: Celebrated all the wonderfulness of the holidays with a 4 month old

And now, it’s 2014 and I look back with exhaustion, pride, a full heart. I know everyone has busy years. I’m not abnormal in that claim. But, looking toward a new year, Jason and I couldn’t help but agree that this year, we want less. We want slow. We want roots. We’ve moved, floated, lived the nomadic way for a while, but now with roots and our Audrey, it’s time to stay for a while.

So, my word for 2014 is: STILL.

photo

And not just being still in the physical sense, although that’s a big part of it. But also:

• being still and knowing of God’s absolute presence in our life (Psalms 46:10; Exodus 14:14)
• being still in the moments I try to do too much
• being still and letting go of the fear and anxiety in my new mama heart and head
• being physically still in Baton Rouge, in our home, in our jobs, in our church
• being still by embracing quiet mornings, slow weekends and long holidays

I probably jinxed myself by making this my 2014 word. This usually sparks a completely opposite reaction (see: pregnancy fall in August after just the day before saying “let’s not do anything baby this weekend, let’s just relax” yeah right). But I want to be deliberate in this word this year. Be still and watch Audrey blossom and grow. Be still and love Jason more each day. Be still and enjoy this beautiful life.

I hope you can find a word to relate with this year as well! I’d love to hear what they are, if you do. Happy 2014 friends, let’s make it a great one.

Life Lately

We are in full baby mode! I’ve got about six more weeks until the due date, so naturally, we are consumed with all things baby.

But that doesn’t mean I haven’t found time for other interesting things in my life, they are just receiving less and less brain power 🙂

What I’m Clicking On Lately

The uber-love going out to Kate Middleton and Prince George.
Some fabulous advice about motherhood.
Videos that make we want to continue my graduate school research.
A brilliant advertising campaign
Only the greatest music-related thing that COULD EVER HAPPEN TO ME.

What I’m Loving Lately

1. Water (hooray! something healthy!)
2. Pedicures
3. Perks of Being A Wallflower – finished the book and loved it as much as the movie
4. Real Housewives of New Jersey
5. Book club tomorrow!

What I’m Listening To Lately

“Sing You Back To Me” – Trisha Yearwood
“She Is” – NeYo + Tim McGraw
Mozart Pandora Station (specifically for Audrey!)

What I’m Cooking Lately

Meatball Subs