A Fall Letter

audrey madelineDear Little One,

You rock. You are blossoming and growing and changing so rapidly that I can’t keep up! At 14 months, I swear you are going on 14. I’m sure all Mamas out there say their child grows too fast, losing the baby parts of themselves so quickly you don’t know where you were when it happened. I’m still stuck in this limbo of never wanting you to grow up and being excited about the next stage in your life. I see you as a little girl, a toddler, not a baby anymore. But I hear strangers say “look at that baby!” and I’m instantly reminded that you are ONLY 14 months old. I think you will perpetually feel older to me, and I’m not sure why.

Maybe its because I needed to close that door quickly, transition from you not being a baby anymore and never look back because it would hurt my heart too much. So I see you only as a little girl now. But you still do baby things. You still need rocking every now and then, you still love your pacifier and you still can’t express your feelings just like I think you want to. But, you also do such big girl things! You walk on your own all the time now, you point and tell me things you want (usually things you can’t have), you understand what Daddy and I are trying to tell you more often, and you know how to pitch a fit like no other.

Here’s what else I’m learning about you:

  • If you like what you are eating, you LOVE what you are eating, and only want to eat that, savoring every bite with your tiny fingers held up to your mouth as if you couldn’t bear to let one crumb out
  • But if you don’t like what you are eating, you like to throw it on the floor or chew it up and spit it out into Mama or Daddy’s hands; this has led to your first introduction of time out, which you are definitely not a fan of
  • I don’t know if we are doing it on purpose, but I see us raising you as a very independent little girl; you walk without our hand a lot, we let you lead the way when you walk, and I often find myself letting you guide me to where you want to go
  • You don’t like meat, nor do you like french fries
  • You love washcloths and rags, and love bath time when Mama lets you hold every rag in the cabinet and chew on them until you are pruny as a raisin
  • You are starting to wake up earlier; we had a good run there for a while where you would sleep until 8 am or 9 am, but I fear those days are slipping slowly by

But most importantly, I still adore being your Mama. I can’t wait to share the holidays with you this year. Forever and always, my baby you’ll be.

love, Mama