In all my
years, months of marriage, I have learned something. It’s not always a rose garden.
I know. I know. You’re all rolling your eyes, like duh, Stephanie.
But hear me out.
I’ve known Jason (hubby-extraordinaire) for nearly 10 years. We met as freshmen at LSU, and even after all this time, we still remember that moment we saw each other in the dorm hallway. And over the last few years, we have built a wonderful relationship full of laughter, love and faith in each other as individuals and faith in ourselves as a couple.
The second year of marriage, for me, has been an adventure. We’re out of the post-wedding buzz, the first year of firsts, and reality of what it takes to make this work day in and day out is setting in. All great experiences. And a lot of new ones at that. I’m learning to be understanding, to be more patient, to be more loving even when I don’t feel lovable, and I don’t feel loving towards him.
And in these moments where I’m prickly and un-lovable, I find it a lot easier to nitpick and find all the things that are going wrong. And I find it a lot easier to spin myself into a “I’m so amazing, and everyone else is so not” syndrome that I fail miserably at humility and empathy. But something changed for me yesterday.
I found a blog post about 31 Days of Prayer for Your Husband. And it is a prayer plan for covering your husband in different prayers to uplift and strengthen him and your family. And the line in the intro paragraph struck me: “Satan desires to destroy your husband, especially his character and his leadership in your relationship.” But what is so important is that I realized I was being used as the instrument of destroying.
I wasn’t being understanding or empathetic. I wasn’t building him up and being supportive. I was tearing down. Constantly nagging about something, and expecting him to be so many things at once. And I instantly felt relieved. I knew what I had to do. Remove myself from the driver’s seat and let God take over. Place myself in a position to pray for Jason, and for our family, rather lamenting about what I thought was going wrong. I finally stopped spinning.
So I’ll be praying for my husband (more than usual) over the next 31 days, and maybe you’ll join me?